Basic Bondage Safety
Basic Bondage Safety
Bondage can be sensual & fun, but it can also be risky & dangerous. We think information is sexy! What follows are some basic aspects of risk aware consent. Many gray areas are not addressed here – attend classes and study more about bondage!
Quick pointers for aspiring bondage bottoms:
DO communicate with your top! Clear communication will impress (and excite) an experienced top much more than a high pain tolerance.
DO know your nerves. Nerve damage is a serious risk with bondage, especially suspension. Signs of nerve damage include (usually rapid onset) numbness, tingling, tightness, stress, or sharp, shooting pains. Your top cannot tell when you are having these symptoms – you need to communicate! Note that it’s possible for nerve damage to occur without any warning/symptoms at all, & even with an experienced top who does "everything right."
DO warm up before being tied up, & move SLOWLY after being released from bondage.
DO disclose your health history to the top before being tied up. Especially: diabetes, asthma, joint problems, and existing nerve damage.
DON’T combine gags and bondage until you know your top well, and always have a safe signal.
DON’T get tied up when under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Quick pointers for aspiring bondage tops:
DO take bondage classes, be mentored one-on-one, & know bondage safety/technique prior to tying someone up.
DO communicate with your bottom & check in often. As well as contributing to safety, your bottom will likely experience your check-ins as reassuring and arousing.
DO remind your bottom to promptly tell you about any numbness, tingling, tightness, or pain, and immediately take steps to address it. This may sometimes be done by removing or redirecting tension, shifting ropes, or changing position. When in doubt, untie the affected limb completely.
DO have safety shears close by at all times.
DO consider what would happen if the bottom faints. If the answer is “they would probably die or be seriously injured,” adjust your bondage.
DON’T leave someone alone in bondage.
DON’T attach rope from the bottom’s neck or genitals to a hard point.
DON’T use rope to apply large amounts of tension to joints (wrists, elbows, knees, armpits, groin). The radial nerve in the middle of the upper arms is another common injury site.
Next: More detailed information on our Introduction and Basic Risks page, or check out our bondage flyer: side one and side two
What if you're both topping and bottoming? For more on self-tying and self-suspension, check out this site!
Introduction and basic risks
Introduction and basic risks
There is risk to everything that we do – you could get hit by a car walking across the street to go to your rope date. Risk awareness and mitigation are key, because some types of bondage are more like strolling down the crosswalk on a sunny day after looking both ways, and some are more like running across a busy highway on a rainy night wearing all black. No one is suggesting that you always wear a helmet while crossing the street. But knowing what the specific risks are and taking reasonable steps to mitigate those risks goes a long way.Check out our sexy bondage safety flyer (side 1 and side 2) for some basic starting information!
Terminology
On this site, we use the word "bottom" to refer to the person getting tied up, and "top" to refer to the person doing the tying. Both "top" and "bottom" roles apply to self-tyers and self-suspenders!
The safety information on this site is important for both tops and bottoms! For even more rope bottoming content, check out this page.
General safety points
Never leave someone alone in bondage! You may want to create the illusion that they are alone, but someone should always be directly monitoring them. Bondage + alone is the number one cause of BDSM-related death.
Don’t get tied up (or tie someone up!) when under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Adverse psychological reactions are always possible (panic attacks, claustrophobia, etc). Start slow!Communicate and check in often.
Anywhere bondage is applied, rope marks are possible. Be sure this is OK, especially if the marks may not be covered by street clothing (wrists, for example).
Falling is a risk with bondage. Bound arms mean that the bottom cannot "catch" themselves, and bound ankles place them at risk for obvious reasons. Having a bound bottom move around while restrained is dangerous – if you're going to do it, plan your bondage accordingly and be sure they're adequately supported! Suspension or partial suspension carries the risk of falls as well; this can be caused by upline breaks, hardpoint failure, top/rigger error, etc.
Fainting is another relatively common bondage mishap. Risk is increased when someone is restrained in a vertical position, has their knees locked, or makes a sudden position change.
Gags require specialized negotiation and are higher risk, especially when combined with other types of bondage.
Always have a method of quickly releasing the bondage available – safety shears or similar.
Rope around the neck is high risk.This article on breath control play gives detailed information about this. We recommend never attaching rope from around the neck or penis to a hard point.
Beyond these basic safety points, the risks with bondage include reduced circulation and nerve damage.
Circulation Issues
Signs of circulation problems include temperature change (cooling of the limb), color change, and numbness.
These signs and symptoms generally occur SLOWLY.
In isolation, circulation can be decreased for some time before tissue damage begins. That said, cutting off circulation does not tend to increase sexy bondage fun times (and can complicate detection of nerve damage), so it's better to avoid it.
You can read more about circulation and bondage here.
Nerve Damage
Nerve damage is more of a concern for bondage than decreased circulation (though the two can and do happen concurrently).
Danger signs for nerve damage include pain (generally described as sharp/shooting), weakness, tightness, stress, tingling, and numbness.
These generally occur QUICKLY, sometimes instantly, and should be acted on immediately to prevent or minimize long term damage.
Nerve damage can occur either by stretching of the nerve (ex: over-extending the arms over the head for extended periods of time), by compression (ex: rope pressing tightly up against the armpit), or by shearing force (ex: tight rope pulling across the upper arm). Shearing force refers to parallel surfaces sliding past one another and is particularly problematic for your nerves – if you ever had a grade school classmate do a "snake bite" on your arm, you have some idea of what this type of force feels like.
The interplay of 6 basic factors contribute to nerve injury:
Individual differences in nerve vulnerability.31 Some people seem to have bombproof nerves, some people seem to get nerve damage if you look at them funny
Anatomical location: where on the body you are tying. Some locations are higher risk than others. For example, joints and upper arms are generally higher risk areas, as compared to the thighs or ankles31
Duration of compression. Nerve damage happens in stages – removing bondage at the first signs of injury can keep a minor injury from becoming a major one.1
Severity of compression/amount of shearing force.1The increased severity of compression and risk of shearing is part of what makes suspension bondage generally higher risk than floor work.
Stretch/stress positioning. This also has a lot of individual variance. Keep in mind that stretching/stress positioning may also make nerves more vulnerable to compression.
Environment (internal & external)
As a general rule: The more force and the longer the time, the greater the damage will be. "Mechanisms of nerve injury include direct pressure, repetitive microtrauma, and stretch- or compression-induced ischemia. The degree of injury is related to the severity and extent (time) of compression."1
Most incidents of nerve damage involve many (if not all) of these 6 factors.
It’s possible for nerve damage to occur without any warning/symptoms at all, and even with an experienced top who does “everything right.”
There is a lot of evidence that nerve damage is cumulative,1 therefore a given scene that results in nerve damage could be simply "the straw that broke the camel's back."
Nerve damage is such an important (and relatively common) bondage injury that it has it's own section on this site – check out this article on nerve damage as a starting place!
** General disclaimer: As far as we know, there are no controlled scientific studies on bondage and how to predict bad outcomes (anyone want to give us grant money?). Most of what we discuss on this site is based on anecdotal stories and a basis of medical/anatomical knowledge, as well as extrapolating from scientific research on similar subjects (intraoperative positioning nerve damage, sports-related injuries, etc.). Many references have been used – a list can be found here as both the sources of our information and also as resources for further reading.
For a nuanced discussion of pregnancy and BDSM play, including bondage, check out this page!
Next: Safety supplies
References (see this page for more): [1] Gupta R, Rummler L, Steward O. Understanding the biology of compressive neuropathies. Clin Orthop Relat Res. 2005;(436):251–260.
Safety supplies
Safety supplies
Always have a method of quick release (paramedic shears, quick release snaps, rescue hook, etc) available. A standard pocket knife is not a good tool for this purpose. More great info on this topic can be found on Frozen Meursault's site!
Paramedic Shears
Easily available online or at your local drugstore.
These have a blunt side that is used under the bondage (against the skin) that helps prevent cutting/poking.
Try yours out on the rope/bondage implement that you're planning to use! They can have a surprisingly difficult time getting through many bondage materials (including rope, especially synthetics) and quality varies wildly.
Rescue Hook
Available online – just search for "Benchmade Rescue Hook."
Multiple styles are available – many people prefer a "5" as they can hang it from a DM kit or even a necklace to have it on hand. See here for an example
These work VERY well cutting material that is under tension (load bearing lines especially). They do not work well with cutting rope that has any slack.
Quick release snaps
Available at Home Depot (or online, of course!)
Don’t use “panic snaps” or “quick release snaps” for load bearing (or potentially load bearing) bondage.
Very handy to use with bondage that ties someone in a laying position to a bed, for example – they will release instantly when the quick release is activated. Keep in mind that if you want your bondage to be more difficult to escape from, you should place these out of your bottom's reach!
Notes on cutting rope
Always remember that your rope is much more replaceable than your bottom!
That said, in many situations, it is not necessary (or even desirable) to cut rope.
For specific notes on cutting rope when someone has fallen from suspension, see this article.
When someone needs to be out of bondage NOW, cutting rope should always be a readily available option. Reasons for this could include:
Onset of sharp, shooting pains in a bound limb
Panic/anxiety
Muscle spasm
Asthma attack
Nausea/vomiting
Factors outside the scene (mother-in-law knocking on the bedroom door! House on fire! You get the idea.)
Remember that moving limbs that have been tightly bound, especially in a restrictive/strenuous position, can cause further injury. Support the limbs as the rope is cut to allow the bottom to SLOWLY move them to a neutral position.
If you buy rope from Twisted Monk, they will replace it in the event that it is cut off in an emergency!
Communication for Bondage
Communication for Bondage
Bondage tops have a responsibility to educate their rope partners about warning signs and communication/safewords before tying them up. Bottoms should also take initiative to get educated about bondage safety! For even more bottoming resources and education, check out this site.
Health negotiation
Before starting a bondage scene, ask about underlying medical conditions that affect bondage, including joint injuries, seizures, asthma, breast implants, diabetes, nerve injury/damage, etc. This should include asking about conditions that might predispose the bottom to nerve damage. Those include pre-existing peripheral neuropathy (nerve damage) from diabetes, peripheral vascular disease, and previous traumatic nerve injury [3]. Health history questions aren't just for bottoms – if the top has a history of any conditions that could lead to alteration in consciousness (seizures, diabetes, etc) this is critical to disclose as well, particularly if you will be tying in private. Consider asking about health insurance status (it is not fun to think about, but what would happen if someone got hurt? Do they have insurance? Who would be financially responsible?) Check out this page for details on negotiation for bondage pick-up play and this page for more detailed information on negotiation and gathering a medical history for bondage.
Asking "do you have any medical problems" will mostly result in a knee-jerk "no." Better starting questions are "tell me about your health" and "what medications do you take?"
Discuss the possibility of rope marks.
Scene negotiation
Negotiation is about finding out limits AND finding out turn-ons and sweet spots!Consider using a paper negotiation form (or even FetLife fetish lists) as a starting point. Negotiation is not just the top asking the bottom questions – bottoms can (and should!) ask their top questions as well!Some good questions to start with are:
What is your experience level with bondage?
What are the places you don’t want me to touch you?
What type of bondage scene energy or mood were you thinking of? Sexy, casual, platonic, playful...?
What do you enjoy about bondage?
During a bondage scene
Avoid gags unless you know each other well and have another way to communicate (non-verbal safe signal, drop ball, etc).
Go slow with new partners, check in often, and pay attention to emotional reactions. Eye contact can communicate volumes!The main predictor of a bad bondage outcome is the bottom’s subjective experience in the bondage.
COMMUNICATE and check in often. Bondage tops should empower their bottoms to say something if they need the bondage modified/removed. I always tell my bondage bottoms that I will not be disappointed if they tell me their arm is going numb and I have to untie them. I WILL be disappointed (to say the least!) if they decide to tough it out and I end up having to take them to the ER for a severe injury. See this page for more information about assessing for nerve damage during a scene.
Reading body language in scene
Of course this varies by individual, but there are some general guidelines.
Look for: Tension
This manifests as scrunched up shoulders, holding breath, furrowed eyebrows…
Generally increasing tension is not a good sign. It is an indication to check in, perhaps help them relax, remind them to breathe.
Arousal
Signs include flushing, increased skin temperature, dilated pupils, faster breathing, increased blood flow to genitals, etc...
Moving toward or away
Sticking out their ass or tucking it in is an obvious example
Safewords
Until you've negotiated otherwise, "no" means "no" and "I need untied" means to untie them!
Safewords are a communication tool that can enhance your play. A common element of power exchange and bondage is the “fantasy of non-consent” – wanting to be able to say no, don't, stop – but not really wanting your partner to stop.In many public playspaces, safewords are part of the rules. Some people don’t use them (usually within long-term relationships with established trust) or only use them sometimes.You have a responsibility to empower your partner to communicate (through a safeword or just plain using their words).
Tops can/should be empowered to use safewords as well – they are not just for bottoms!
Verbal safewords:
Common verbal safewords include yellow (generally means "slow down"), red (generally means "stop" or "stop that specific thing/activity"), and “safeword” (generally means "stop everything, we're done"). These are used differently by different people so be sure to clarify the definition you're using!
Consider using a verbal safeword that will work with the energy of the scene – “mercy” “uncle” etc.
It may work for you to have a safeword as a back-up ("if I say "red", that means everything stops and you untie me right away"), but to communicate specifically in plain language ("my left arm just started going really numb") most of the time. This is much more valuable information than a vague "yellow"
Check in with a number system from 1 to 10.
As a bottom, it is very helpful if you can give your top a "two minute warning" that you will need to be out of bondage (vs waiting until it's a matter of OH MY GOD GET ME OUT NOW!). This is not always possible, but try to monitor your body so you can communicate when you're nearing (not at) the end of your tolerance.
Non-verbal safewords
Many people have an easier time using a non-verbal safeword.
Examples of non-verbal safewords include opening and closing the hands, "tapping out", stomping feet, or dropping an object that is held in the hands.
An awesome non-verbal check-in is to tell the bottom that if you put your fingers in their hand, they should squeeze your fingers as a “green” (indicating that they are good and play should continue). This will ALSO allow you to assess for possible nerve damage (inability to grip can be a sign of nerve damage and should prompt you to immediately untie the limb).
An extremely important negotiation point to consider is whether you (and your partner) will safeword if needed. This is not always known and may vary unpredictably from scene to scene.
Some players are totally empowered, can monitor themselves and communicate clearly in the middle of any scene, and have no issues using safewords.
Reasons a player doesn’t/won’t/fails to use safewords include:
Taking pride in not using a safeword
Going non-verbal
Getting high on endorphins or emotionally so in the moment they forget limits/lose the ability to monitor their physical status
Being afraid that they’ll embarrass their partner or their partner won’t want to play with them again if they safeword.
Next: Setting and maintaining a mood
References: [3] Stewart JE. (2000) Focal peripheral neuropathies. 4th Ed.
Setting and maintaining a mood, execution in context
Setting and maintaining a mood, execution in context
Always start with intention- WHY bondage? WHAT are you going to do after your partner is tied up (if anything)?
Consider what type of bondage scene you want to create together- a romantic scene that focuses on the sensations of rope against skin is quite different from playful catch-and-release tickle bondage! If you go into the scene expecting a sexy vibe and your partner just wants to practice a new ankle cuff they learned, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
Consider the individual "why" of bondage. Are you a rope slut who just loves the feel of hemp against your skin? A sadist who gets off on having a "helpless" victim? A more cerebral type who likes to platonically work out new and different suspension ties? A submissive who wants to feel like a bondage trophy? None of this is mutually exclusive, and can vary from scene to scene- think about what your motivations are for wanting to do bondage and communicate this to your partner!
Consider blindfolding your bottom (never let them see you sweat!). If they can’t see, their fantasies can help the moment. Blindfolds are a newbie bondage top's best friend!We don’t recommend gags for new or new-to-each-other players.
Don’t gag- communicate! Consider whether the bondage is a means to an end (“I want to be unable to stop you when you do all these horrible things to me!”) vs. end in itself (“I want to be bound and left to float”). There is a big difference between decoration bondage, more “psychological” bondage, and tying a bottom who is truly struggling to escape. As a bottom, unless escaping is part of the scene, consider struggling with your “lizard brain,” not your “but my IQ is 130 and I know I can figure out a way to get out of this” brain.
Cultivate an attitude of assumed helplessness, participate in the scene, and cooperate! As a top, if you have a bottom who likes inescapable bondage and often tries to escape, you'll have to use different techniques to bind them. Remember that as they struggle your bondage will shift and tighten, which you will need to monitor. Consider placing your final knots where the bottom can't reach them and/or putting mitts on your bottom. Learn to make your bondage more inescapable by playing "catch and release" games where the bottom is tied up, challenged to escape (while the top closely observes how they get out), and then tied them again.
Bondage Positioning
Bondage Positioning
Positioning for bondage
Always consider what would happen if the bottom fell or fainted– what would they hit? If they sagged in the bondage, where would the ropes (and their limbs) end up? If the answer to the question of what would happen if they fainted is “well, they would probably be seriously injured or die,” adjust your bondage.
Hogties are dangerous– there is risk of positional asphyxia (impaired breathing) and also the potential for damage to the wrists or ankles.
Faint or fall after bondage
There’s danger of a faint or fall as the bottom is being released from a standing position (or standing after laying down for an extended period of time).
It can be helpful for tops to talk their bottoms through the process of untying the ropes (“it’s not attached anymore, don’t put weight on it”) and support the bottom as they’re released. Once they are fully released, sit or lay the bottom down, if at all possible.
For more information about fainting and BDSM, read this article.
Immobility
Tying the limbs so they have no movement at all is very difficult for the bottom. Leaving a bit of “wiggle room” will result in safer and more sustainable bondage.
Being held tightly immobile for extended periods of time, especially if the legs or arms are hanging lower than the heart, can cause a host of problems, including blood clots in the legs and pooling blood in the lower extremities. Even slight movement (such as flexing the calves) can mitigate this.
A bottom hanging unconscious or completely immobile/unmoving in bondage could theoretically suffer from something similar to “harness hang syndrome”- this is primarily a suspension bondage issue, but could conceivably be an issue with some non-suspension bondage as well (especially if the bottom faints into it). Onset of harness hang syndrome takes about 6 minutes- none of us would leave someone hanging passed out for that long, right? Get the bottom down from bondage as quickly (and safely) as possible.
Private bondage
The inherent risks of bondage are greater in private vs. in a public dungeon or play space with safety monitors and others available to help if something goes wrong.
Consider the health of the top, especially if the bottom is going to be tied “inescapably,” and especially if the location is isolated.
Check references- talk with others the bondage top has tied up, ask who they learned from, etc
Don’t get tied up in private on the first date, and negotiate carefully (safewords, etc) first.
Arrange a “safe call”- have a trusted friend who knows where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing, and who expects to hear from you by a certain time. Discuss what they should do if they don’t hear from you by that time (Come and knock on your door? Call the police?).
Other notes
Don’t use rope around the neck or a collar as part of potentially weight-bearing bondage (no attaching the leash to a point on the cross, etc).
Don’t tie rope from the genitals to a hard point.
Often, hands are the first area where the bottom experiences problems. If possible, arrange bondage so the hands can be released easily and without having to undo everything else first.
Many bondage experts recommend a “two finger rule” (being able to slide at least two fingers under the rope) for bondage tightness. Keep in mind that bondage will shift as the scene progresses, especially if the bottom is struggling/squirming.
Next: Circulation
Circulation
Circulation
This site spends pages and pages talking about nerve damage... and this is the lone little page on reduced circulation. That's because nerve damage is more of a safety issue for most bondage. However, reduced circulation can have risks and does not tend to increase sexy bondage fun times (and can complicate detection of nerve damage), so it’s better to avoid it.There is a tendency to conflate decreased circulation and nerve damage, or to think that decreased circulation causes nerve damage, which is not directly the case.Let's first define what we mean by "reduced circulation," as there are two major subtypes:
Impaired venous return: This is by far the most common circulation issue you will see in bondage. This refers to situations where blood flow leaving the limb in the veins is obstructed (or partially obstructed), but blood flow into the limb via the arteries is unaffected. Because arteries are deeper and have tougher walls than veins, veins are almost always affected first. Signs that venous return is compromised includes the limb changing color and becoming purple- or red-ish, as well as generalized numbness. Over the long run (hours, not minutes), blocked venous return can be dangerous, but it is incredibly common in bondage and not an emergency situation (although it can complicate detection of nerve damage). Often this can be addressed by "re-dressing" wraps to slightly change their position.
Impaired arterial flow: This is quite uncommon in bondage as it is rather difficult to achieve. This refers to a situation where you have blocked off arterial flow into a limb. Signs of this include the limb turning white and diffuse numbness in the limb. This is obviously much more urgent than impaired venous return and should be addressed by releasing the effected limb from bondage.
The next question, of course, is how do you avoid causing reduced circulation?
Select an appropriate bondage material. Very stretchy materials (bungee cords, tights, rubber bands, surgical tubing, etc) have a lot of potential to act as a "tourniquet" around a limb, because by the time they are tight enough that the restrained person can't just wiggle out, they are very tight indeed and are likely keeping blood from getting out (or in!) as well. There are ways to use stretchy material in bondage, but it's important to be aware of the potential for problems. Many people prefer to use something that has some softness and minimal stretch—scarves can work well, or of course rope (hemp/nylon/etc)!
The amount of the bondage material that will be against the skin is key (with rope, this translates as the thickness + number of wrapping turns), especially if the bondage will be load bearing or the restrained person will be struggling. Even small increases in the amount of contact against the skin can make bondage significantly more comfortable (and safer)—consider that a 100 lb person in high heels exerts 15 times more pounds per square inch than a 6,000 lb elephant. Generally an inch of coverage (for 1/4 inch diameter rope, about 4 strands, which means going around twice with doubled-up rope) is a good place to start for something like basic limb bondage. Larger bodied folks often need more wrapping turns to be comfortable, although when you get beyond 6 strands you reach the point of diminished returns, and maintaining consistent tension becomes more difficult.
Rope placement is also important. If possible, stick to areas with more padding—avoid placing rope around joints (elbows, knees, arpits, groin) where blood vessels are close to the surface with little padding.
Many bondage experts recommend a “two finger rule” (being able to slide at least two fingers under the rope) for bondage tightness.
Keep in mind that bondage will shift as the scene progresses, especially if the restrained person is struggling/squirming.
Signs of decreased circulation include cold, color change, and numbness. These signs and symptoms generally occur SLOWLY. Some color and temperature change in a bound limb is to be expected and is certainly not a bondage emergency. Establish a baseline by assessing the limbs before you start, so that you can tell if there are changes. You can also check capillary refill—if it is prolonged, you know circulation is decreased. Again, this is not a bondage emergency, but might prompt you to adjust your bondage and certainly should prompt you to monitor and communicate with your partner. Mild color/temperature change is quite a different thing from a limb that is white, cold, and has no pulse—use common sense here. Every person is different.There are a few areas of the body where circulation does really matter. The head, for one—rope around the neck is high risk for oh so many reasons. The cock and balls are another area where circulation matters—if they're turning colors or having temperature changes, it's past time to take the bondage off.
Next: After a Rope Scene
After a rope scene
After a rope scene
Aftercare
Negotiate for specific aftercare needs before starting a scene.
Sometimes aftercare needs vary or are unpredictable.
Aftercare isn't just for bottoms!
Common aftercare needs for tops include needing validation ("you did great!" "I still love you" "I don't think you're a bad person, even though you just did "bad" things to me"), reassurance that the bottom is physically and mentally OK, food and/or water, physical comfort like cuddling, or orgasms!
Common aftercare needs for bottoms include getting physically warm (blankets, cuddles, and maybe stuffed animals are classic), having something to drink (many bottoms swear by coconut water, sports drinks may also be a good choice), comfort, reassurance, and validation ("you did great!" "you looked really sexy in that tie!" "You were super responsive and fun to tie up"), or... orgasms!
You'll notice there's a lot of overlap there!
Moving slowly after being untied
After a scene, the bottom should slowly begin to move bound extremities.
Body parts that have been bound for a while may have lost a bit of muscle tone, and strong or sudden movements can cause sprains.
Well-meaning tops often try to move a part of the bottom’s body for them; this can cause injury.
Rope marks
Remember that rope marks are compressed tissue; compressing them more (by rubbing them) will not be helpful. Enjoy your rope marks!
Gags
Gags
Gags
Bondage and gags can be a dangerous combination. Consider not using gags unless you are with a partner who you personally know and trust and who is experienced with bondage. If you are going to use a gag, carefully consider what “safe signal” the bottom can use- it needs to be compatible with the bondage for that scene. A safe signal of opening and closing hands will not work if the bottom is tied with their back to a wall and their hands behind their butt. Sometimes a combination of grunting noises and body signals can work, but this relies on trust and a perceptive bondage top!Remember that nerve damage can happen in seconds, and while a bondage top can assess the bottom for signs of nerve damage, there are no perfect assessment tests. This means that even if the bondage top does nothing but assess the bottom’s nerve function for the entire duration of the bondage scene (not likely!), they are STILL relying on the bottom to communicate! Bondage tops cannot see nerve damage happening. If the bondage bottom can’t communicate to protect themselves… there is potential for disaster. As an additional note, if you're planning to play with a gag in a playspace that has DMs, they may want/require you to notify them of the bottom's "safe signal"- doing this in advance may keep your scene from being interrupted.If you want the feeling and look of being gagged while maintaining more safety, most bottoms can find a “sweet spot” with gags (at least common ball gags) where the gag will stay in and have the desired sexy effects, BUT is just loose enough that they can spit it out of their mouths if they really want/need to. Bottoms, if you want to be gagged, consider providing your own gag (shared gags are kinda yucky anyway), with the “sweet spot” for tightness indicated in some way. For a buckled gag, you could use a silver permanent marker or colored grommet to mark the appropriate hole for the buckle to fasten through.
Gags and Suspension
Gags are not often combined with suspension, and for good reason. In addition to the usual considerations about communication, there is additional increased concern about the possibility of vomiting. Many bottoms are prone to nausea and vomiting in suspension, especially when there is inversion, tight constriction, a lot of movement, or spinning. I've personally become very nauseated in suspension, had someone I rigged throw up while in the air (of course I got them down right away). As a host/DM, I've cleaned up the mess from someone else's unintentional suspension bondage roman showers several times.Throwing up with a gag in place can easily have disastrous, even fatal, consequences. If you do decided to use a gag, especially for suspension, consider how quickly it could be removed in an emergency (asthma attack, fainting, vomiting). A ball gag with a thin strap is easily unfastened or cut off. Heavy gags/hoods that would be impossible to remove FAST are a big safety concern, and as a bottom wearing one, you’re betting your life that you either won’t vomit or that your top will be able to remove the gag in time if you start to feel nauseated. Consider your own risk profile (are you prone to motion sickness?) and whether this is worth it to you.